Unsolicited Opinions: Baseball, Bond & Ex-Beatle

My beloved Phillies are looking for a new GM. There is no shortage of qualified candidates: Gerry Hunsicker, John Hart, Steve Phillips, various members of the Duquette family. Possibly even Brian Cashman. Since the team has had a habit recently of taking Cleveland's leftovers (Jim Thome, David Bell, Charlie Manuel, Kenny Lofton) I'm thinking John Hart might get it. That would be a mistake for the sole reason that the Phillies should stop doing things that they've had a habit of doing recently. They need to follow the George Costanza model of doing the opposite of what they would normally do. If they'd normally hire a guy who used to work in Cleveland -- do the opposite! Many of Ed Wade's moves sounded good at the time -- but then blew-up in his face. So, do the opposite of what Ed would do. Even if it doesn't seem to make any baseball sense. Even if it means letting Billy Wagner walk. Do the opposite!

Whoever the GM is, he will have to decide what to do about the Jim Thome/Ryan Howard situation. But there is an out-of-the-box solution to the problem of two lefthanded sluggers who seemingly cannot play any other position but 1st base. It would take some doing, but the Phillies should immediately begin lobbying the other National League owners to adopt the DH! The player's union would love it. And I don't really think the fans would mind. Some purists would complain, but when you get down to it, fans love more offense. And I'm sick of seeing pitchers looking clueless up there in the batters box, taking ugly hacks. If more pitchers were like Dontrell Willis, and could swing the bat, it would be different. But as it stands, it's time to let the old rules go. The National League is, I believe, the only professional league that does not use the DH for any of its games. It's time all major league teams played by the same rules. And the fact that it would help the Phillies solve a huge problem has nothing to do with my feelings about this.



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Craig, Daniel Craig.

British actor Daniel Craig has been named as the new James Bond, and I think it's the worst thing to happen to the franchise since Herve Villechaize. Most news reports have made a big deal over the fact that he is the first blond actor to take the role. I couldn't give a damn about his hair color. But this guy simply isn't handsome and debonair. You're telling me they couldn't find a more suave looking dude in all of Great Britain? The guy looks like his face was runover by a truck. Remember, Bond is supposed to be the man every woman wants, and every man wants to be. I love my life, but I'd kill to be Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan just for one day. I'd switch places with Daniel Craig, but only because he's banging Sienna Miller (and you know she's only doing that to get revenge on Jude Law). Don't get me wrong, he's a great actor. No one who saw him play Paul Newman's psychopathic son in "Road to Perdition" could deny that. He's just not James Bond. He'd make a great Bond villain, though.

Craig was not their first choice. Hugh Jackman (the obvious pick, I'd say) turned the role down because his wife didn't want him to do it (sissy). If Craig got the role, I'm guessing choices two-through-457 also said no. And by the way, what's wrong with Pierce Brosnan? He may be 52, but he still looks great. He could've easily played the role for another decade. If they wanted to go younger, I personally would've gone with Christian Bale. He's British. But I'm guessing they didn't even consider him because he's already Batman.

The producers apparently think Craig's rugged look is a plus. They want the new movie to be grittier and more realistic. Director Martin Campbell says he wants less gadgets and more character. Why do they think anyone wants that? If you go see a James Bond movie, you're not looking for realism or a character drama. You're looking for outrageously preposterous stunts, outrageously beautiful women and campy one-liners. The last film, "Die Another Day" had all of that, plus a dude blowing shit up with a laser beam from outerspace. And I believe it was the highest grossing Bond movie yet.

The new film is said to be a faithful adaptation of Ian Fleming's first Bond book, "Casino Royale" which, for licensing reasons, has never been made as a proper Bond movie (there was a forgettable 1967 spoof that used the title, but almost none of the plot). The book is an intriguing espionage tale, but it's very short on action and is, conversely, sickeningly violent. There is a torture scene that, if depicted on film, will have every male member of the audience wincing. Trust me, no one except diehard Bond afficionados wants to see that movie.

(By the way, Quentin Tarantino was begging the producers to let him direct Casino Royale with Pierce Brosnan and Uma Thurman in the lead roles, but was rejected. If you're trying to make your film franchise younger and hipper and Quentin Tarantino is begging to direct, why on Earth would you say no?)

"Casino Royale" is really very short. It might make a good first act for a Bond movie. But then you'd have to come up with another hour's worth of story. And throw-in a guy with a laser beam from outer space. Then you've got something.

All that said, I will reserve final judgement until I actually see the movie. The first publicity photo of Craig in character (wearing the tux, holding the gun) is actually not bad. It might work. But I'm not optimistic.



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Paul McCartney will turn 64 next year and if his new CD is any indication, we will still need him and still feed him when he reaches that age he sang about all those years ago.

"Chaos And Creation In The Backyard" is his best album (and best album title) in ages. It's a well-crafted collection of thoughtful, introspective songs based mainly around accoustic guitar and piano. Macca has always done his best when he's had a strong collaborator to work with. In the early days, of course, it was John. In the late-'80s he did his best work with Elvis Costello. But too often, the people he's surrounded himself with are seemingly too awed by him to tell him his stuff is crap. As a result, his solo work has often felt lazy. This time out, he's working with Radiohead's producer, Nigel Godrich, and McCartney has been quoted as saying Godrich wasn't afraid to tell him his opinion when he heard something he didn't like. Apparently, that's just what Paul needed, because Godrich got the best out of him.

Godrich also encouraged McCartney to play almost all of the instruments himself. And he doesn't just play the traditional guitar, bass, drums and piano. He also plays flugelhorn, and a couple of other unexpected instruments. The first single "Fine Line" is damn catchy, and is as good a song as he's written in years. It's already been used in a car commercial. (You hate to see Sir Paul sell out, but at least the ad is for an environmentally friendly Hybrid car.) "Jenny Wren" will remind a lot of people of "Blackbird". "English Rain" is a nice little "Penny Lane"-style ditty that wouldn't sound out-of-place on Sgt. Pepper. "Friends to Go" is another favorite of mine.

There's a lot to like on the new album, and any fan of Beatles music ought to check it out.